August 28 4:45am

...and you on your bed, lying alone hopefully, alone and without him...the object of my insanity...

A million miles away, on lands kissed by the same huge ocean
I wish i were in Hawaii at least.
Where, I could stand at the edge of the island
The clear blue water upto my knees
Then I would look piercingly through the distance
Half the distance.


Maybe I could walk to the ends of Russia
After a short trip north from where I am
To Uelen and hop to Alaska
If I don't miss I won't fall into the Bering Strate
I know it's a long way from California
But knowing that my feet are on the same
Continent as yours would excite me greatly

And as I labor for lost
Aimless, and hopefully with a compass
And my inflatable world map
Now deflated, I wander the streets of unknown lands
I'd have no money, I wonder how I'd survive.

A trek down a path I don't know
'Coz a world map isn't much help you know
It only tells me where you are.
I could imagine how much trouble
I would get once I reach North America

I'd probably get mugged and arrested
Wouldn't know who I was one day or another
But I'd be walking and I'd look at my compass
All I know is, I have to go South
And then say shit, 'coz there's a mountain right in front of me

Through Canada I'd make my way to the border
That is if the border patrol would not insist
On taking me to a Canadian hospital
I'd probably lost my identity by then
And a million pounds
I'd have learned Russian and French
And the difference between
Being mugged by a Canadian and a Russian

Idyllic
When at last I reach Seattle
I could give up walking and look for my friend
Whom I wish would loan me some money
Then, I could take the Amtrak on my way down South
And before I forget who I had been going to
In the first place, I would stop before I end up in Mexico


World maps and compasses aren't that good a guide
If not for my copy of the Lonely Planet
I wouldn't know where I'd be
So, from the ends of San Diego
Ofcourse out of cash
Hopefully not mugged
I beg for dimes and pennies
So that I could finally make
A collect call to my cuz
And beg him to pick me up at San Diego

I'd probably look for a church
And some nice people would
Offer me a change of clothes
A decent meal
A pair of socks
A pair of shoes
And a place to stay for the night

The next day my cuz arrives
And I am on my way to telling him
About my trip when I remember
Why I had begun the journey to begin with
And I'd ask him to drop me off
At Oxnard California
Thank him profusely
Send him off but he won't go
Until I'm settled in nicely

Then I'd look for you
Ava no longer lives in the house
At Saviers, a Cuban couple does
I scat before they offer me some Cuban
Drugs or cigars

But I can't find you
And it takes all evening
I look at my cousin and see how
He has aged
I look at myself in a mirror at the McDonald's
Drive thru where he had insisted
For us to pick up some dinner

I have aged, and you must have aged as well
I'd been gone for such a long time
They thought I'd been dead
And you I'd think, would probably be in Florida
With him.

So, we agree to drive back
To San Fernando Valley
We have a few laughs me and my cousin
But I wouldn't help losing myself
To my memories of what I had come for
Wishing I had just waited a couple more months
And instead of thirteen years
I would have reached you in thirteen hours