I Suck

...because I realized that my mood and my life has sort of revolved around other people and other things. But that is the way of the universe, is it not. Maybe God intended it to be that way, tiny lives making the entire being move. But don't get me wrong, I am not making an excuse of what is and how things are as a basis for my failures (which aren't really failures but lessons).

Today my laptop has crashed once more. Partly my fault, I had been so eager to try out a lot of different warez on it. I know quite well that installing and uninstalling isn't the best thing one can ever do for one's hardware. Like a human being it gets its own amount of shock. I guess I took advantage of the up time, didn't think twice, just went ahead and bombarded it with warez, and a lot of internet time, knowing fully well that I didn't have any reliable anti-virus to keep things at bay.

So...my mood dragged me slowlt through today, I had been desperately trying to revive my poor aged laptop. But, tomorrow is another day, and another chance at trying things out oncemore. I will get that thing running. I swear upon my life that I shall buy a macintosh if all else fails. Not tomorrow, maybe in the coming year.

I have cussed at windows and IBM all day, my patience has grown exhausted.

To make things worse she didn't call me up today, I really haven't the slightest idea when she is ever gonna call me up again. I am positive that the only time she would call me is when she'd have something to say about transactions which have nothing much to do about my emotions for her...e.g her errands for the rest of the world. All that has been brough upon me, and they seem heavier than ever at this point in time. She sent me an sms to notify me that she had passed the california DMV written exam, and she's well on her way to studying how to drive. I bet her boyfriend would want to be rewarded with sexual gratification after he had helped her around these DMV matters, which she had been eyeing for eons. She might have been more than willing to give in. I am in pain oncemore. But being the one on the sidelines now, I do not have the right, and I am not afforded much right for jealousy. The right of way has been moved to the man with a dick, a temper, many promises, and a car. I have nothing to give but promises, I don't even have a dick to say the least, let alone a car.

"Thinking out loud..."

For men, dicks are cheaper than cars. They are born with this accessory. For a female, a dick is more expensive than real estate, considering the fact that it will take a million shots of hormone treatment, a number of surgeries and the possibility of getting a weiner after all has been said and done. To the adult shop then! Quick relief that's easy on the pocket and gratifyingly colorful and of a veriety of "comfy-snug" sizes. The good thing about not having the accessory at birth is the ability to choose the right brand and style! :)

Disgusting you might say. I am thinking about transitioning. But first, a psychological and a financial transition is called for. Not to mention, other means of impregnation for the potential partner in life who wishes not to adopt but give birth to her very own child. I hope they can come up with that tissue thing so that I wouldn't have to choose sperms for my loved one. Ewe. The prospect is downright harrowing!

Well, just a day, just an ordinary day in my life, just an ordinary day in my mind.

I just gave you a dose of what possibly goes through my mind in any given 5 minute interval.

To all, a blessed evening. Out for now.

-Akheron


In my case