Your January...

...made me think, look at all the pics and all the rest that I can draw up in my head, its unending...judging by the words you said...all the more I feel small, because I ain't gonna be out in the mall with you, I don't really like malling, coz I ain't gonna take you out to the beach...I can't make friends with everyone like some do...I can't get all emotional and say it...I am a city thug, at least thats what I wanna think, if I were a guy, I'd grow my hair or shave it off and never be anywhere in between that...I'd be wearin black, a bonet maybe cap back, dark shades or none, stubbled chin and moustache, no goaty no neat lines on me...i'd be a devious thug, and i'd be quiet and i'd hardly seem to care but I would but I'd be just too insecure to tell you...or maybe im just that way...but since I don't look anythin like that...it wouldn't seem proper to say...that my personality is a city thug's persona...but I am...I live on the streets of the city knowing pain and truth, but knowin well it doesn't do me good to know it being so far...too small to keep others from their pains...I wanna be mother Theresa or some saint who helps em out...but I feel too weak to do so...so I end up a crack pot, a heap of wasted flesh...I know too little...sometimes I'm afraid I wouldn't know whom to talk to anymore...maybe I'm afraid of becoming complicated...do you even understand what I just said?

...it all came from seein your January...I'm a city thug persona...I see too many truths for my own social good right now...but I see something else thatI'm afraid no one would ever understand about me...i sometimes wonder if the cost of vying for the right are many wrongs...

I'm a city thug, can't please you, my decisions are blunt, but I know one day they'll be too sharp for others to follow...I might take a turn at the corner and disappear ...