OH...and before I forget

The Alchemist Revisited 2

I had the chance to meet up with a very good friend, and was finally able to return the book, sadly I was unable to finish rereading it. So now, before I forget the things I had learned anew, let me put them down in writing for to live on beyond me or at least so long as blogger exists and/or assuming that their system never siezes to hold my thoughts.

of God and the Language of the World, of the hand that made all.

Earlier this evening, me and my schizoid, manic depressive bipolar self fell into a 30 minute depression. After that, I fell into unexplainable hyper-activity, caffeine high I guess. Who said Prozac had to be sprinkled over a lovely dose of endorphine releasing creamylicious chocolate ice cream to return one to one's normal sane or insane self? Coffee did the trick, well coffee and a bit of humane conversation. (Thanks Kissy :) I think I owe you...much)

So, back on the topic, of God and the language of the world, the real language of the word...not English which is the business language nor French, the language of diplomacy, and though amorous it doth roll on one's tongu and nasal passage, it is known better as that, than the language of love. True love lies in the language of the world, that language which is the reality of everything. That which connects everything, at this point the thoughts from "The Last Question" by Isaac Asimov relates the same idea. (If indeed The Last Question was the title of that magnificent piece of literature.) It simply relates that everything is interconnected, and that everything yes, may have its being its purpose as its form, everything too is mysteriously one. To site another example which relates such thoughts, the Holy Trinity, speaks of such a oneness.

What is it that I learned?

I don't think I learned anything, drat, you might say, and you went through all my mind's scribblings to be left hanging and finally dropped in the pit of the thoughtlessness of my last statement.

To continue, I learned nothing new was what I had been meaning to say. For as a child, I did what this shepherd from the Alchemist had done, I hadn't done it with such an understanding, but nonetheless I had felt the presence of something, of a being much greater, if not a being, a force. Not to be Star Wars-y in any manner, I am not much of a fan, though I appreciate the work. As a child, I would look out into the sky, focusing not on a star but bluring my vision slightly, I felt it, I felt puny. No, I believe I have yet to seek the next level of understanding, but I did feel puny because I realized the greater force, I realized how small we all were, and how grand we all had been made, if I had zoomed out onto the world. There is a greater force that oversees us, and everything else around us, maybe bigger than the universe, or the universe itself. It is an immense feeling, I could not explain it then, and I cannot explain it now, for as Santiago did find out. It was in a language all its own. All I can put in words are the following, and indeed nothing more than a set of words: immense unexplainable awe, a hollow feeling in my stomach it did create, the realization of something uncontainable in human words, or in human living the way we live it today and every single day of our lives. If anyone of you has felt this, let me know. I wish to revisit it, I have forgotten how to, and I have forgotten how to find time to do so.

That we are all part of one and the other, it is so simple, yet seemingly complicated when put in these human words. It is like the so called code on the emerald tablet. It is simple, it is a feeling. I would understand how Saint Francis of Assisi had the holes as that of Christ at his side, palms and feet at say, meeting, feeling or understanding the immense reality of the maker of all. It is not simply the material fact of having those marks or wounds, it is the impossibility and the mystery that comes at their creation, the re creation of such, from a past occurence in that of the son of god, rehased in the material being of this human, St. Francis, the impossibility of it all, the feeling of it being so inconceivable, how it breaks all reason and beliefs. That is what it relates to me, that is the immensity that it relates.

I am at awe, at the thought, I am simply at awe, and I know I have not reached anything as yet. These thoughts are a nano fraction of a grain of a mustard seed.

Tell me I'm boring. I'll tell you, yes, because you simply do not understand it yet. When will it be understood? In death maybe? I hope so. If not, then another life to be lived and another question maybe again, left unanswered, so to be re-lived and felt.

I hope we all reach an understanding such as that.